What to do in the first weeks after a parent or spouse dies

Get more certified death certificates than you think you need

Order 10–15 certified copies through the funeral home or the county recorder — banks, life insurance companies, the DMV, Social Security, and pension administrators each typically want their own original, and reordering later costs more time than ordering extra now.

Who to notify, roughly in order

• Social Security Administration — the funeral home often reports the death, but confirm it happened; benefits need to stop promptly to avoid a clawback later.
• The deceased’s employer, if still working, for any final pay or benefits.
• Life insurance companies, to start a claim.
• Banks, credit card companies, and financial institutions.
• The post office, to forward mail.
• Utility companies and landlord, if applicable.
• The three major credit bureaus, to place a deceased alert and reduce identity theft risk — a real and common problem.

What NOT to do yet

• Don’t distribute belongings or assets before an executor or administrator is legally appointed, even to fulfill a clearly stated wish — doing it out of order can create real legal problems.
• Don’t pay outstanding debts from your own funds before understanding what the estate actually owes and in what order creditors are paid — see estate planning documents for how this process generally works.
• Don’t close bank accounts immediately — some need to stay open briefly to process final transactions, and an estate account may need to be opened first.
• Don’t assume you know what the will says — locate the actual document, or confirm there isn’t one, before making decisions based on assumptions.

Find the paperwork

Locate the will (or confirm there isn’t one), any trust documents, life insurance policies, deeds, account statements, and a list of debts. If you don’t know where these are, check with any elder-law or estate attorney the deceased may have worked with, and their financial advisor.

When it’s time to bring in an attorney

If there’s a will, a probate process (or a simplified small-estate process, for smaller estates) generally needs to happen before assets can be distributed. If assets were held in a properly funded trust, that process is usually faster and more private — but still benefits from professional guidance, especially if there’s any disagreement among heirs or the estate includes real property, a business, or complex assets.